Cliche I know, but it felt right.
It’s quite normal to daydream and fantasize about things. What isn’t normal, or at least what doesn’t feel normal, is being a bystander in your own fantasy. In recent months, when I’ve fantasized or daydreamed about whatever may come to mind, I find myself relegated to supporting cast. I’m not the hero, I’m not the villain, I’m not even a plot device; just a random guy in the crowd.
For example: I used to fantasize about being Captain America, Professor Xavier, Magneto, or Dr. Strange. Now though, I find myself in background roles; often being one of the unfortunates who are killed in the destructive path of the villain before the heroes can stop them.
I feel as if I’m not special, not unique, not cared about, nor wanted. I know none of this is true, but it’s there all the same.
Now I have to discern what to do about this. How do I fix this? Is there anything to fix? Is there something wrong with me? Unfortunately I don’t know the answers to any of these questions.
And for someone who prides himself on being able to find the answer to whatever question is thrown at him, this situation just makes me mad.
